Tuesday, April 17, 2007

The Death of BIG AL !!

Greetings fuckheads. The time has come for the much-loved Big AL carnival to come to an end. It is with a mixture of sadness and joy that I reveal to you nitwits that for lo these many years you have been getting your panties in a twist over a figment of your imagination, and nothing has been funnier than watching you all scramble like crackheads after the last rock to find new ways of heaping abuse on BIG AL. Kudos to you all!!

From the first day that I signed up on your ridiculous forums I had the feeling that a bigger collection of idiots never existed. I want to thank everyone for confirming this impression on an almost daily basis. Over time, the simple act of being BIGAL spawned numerous imitators to the point where now it's a franchise. There are at least three people on the interweb pretending to be BIGAL!! and using creative punctuation , everywhere (lol)!! So now you can all continue to feel superior to anyone who doesn't run a spellchecker or who puts , commas and exclamation marks in the wrong place!!. (But really, who the fuck are you to judge anyone's grammar and punctuation with your "bait safe" bullshit? It's "bait safely" unless you're baiting the thing that holds money in a bank. Learn some fucking English you bloody stupid cunts(lol)!!.)

A hearty thanks must also go to the fuckheads at theranter who came here to drop their turds of joy. While you are and always have been an enormous embarrassment to all and sundry, you made the special effort to leave your own litter box and come here and shit your morsels of fuckheadedness. Bravo sirs!

And lest you think that I am just a badger, consider this. A badger is a baiter who baits other baiters. So whilst that would make me a badger, (hold onto your tampons!!) it also makes all of you fuckwits badgers too, because what could be more badger-like than harassing an obviously old and mentally unbalanced man? What the fuck is wrong with you people?

And Radden, whilst I know you found it a tad boring that I called you an ASSHOLE on more than one occasion, I want to assure you that seeing your incessant repetition of Bi-Gal crossed my screen with Summer's Eve freshness and brought much-needed joy to anyone fortunate enough to read it. That was truly an inspired bon mot which never became tiresome and it will live on in the hearts of all. So congratulations on being the biggest asshole, a badger's badger. Now that I am retiring, I am sure there is an old lady waiting for a banana peel to be thrown underfoot somewhere.

You people have been the easiest bunch of cunts to bait. And the fun won't end here, because anyone who types like Big AL will inspire a post in eater private for a long time to come, and you can all begin frothing anew.

Bait safe, assholes.!!